In Japan grow your own plants presented in egg shaped containers are big for Easter.
There is a growing group of, I suspect, really, really miserable people, who have become anti-chocolate.
For me it's the equivalent of saying you don't like puppies or sunsets, or, you know, laughing babies. Yes, there's something seriously wrong with you.
So unlike the anti-choc brigade, I am really, really, really, looking forward to enjoying an Easter egg or two, or possibly three this weekend - we'll see how we go; this is, after all, a marathon, not a sprint.
The key to enjoying Easter eggs is to not to consume them all in one sitting, this is an amateur mistake. No, for maximum impact you have to smash each egg up into teeny, tiny pieces so you can con yourself into making them last as long as possible.
That's not to say that I am unaware of the health implications of eating a tonne of chocolate . Clearly it isn't something you should be eating every day for the rest of your life, but one or two chocolate eggs are not going to end life as we know it....unless the recipient is two years old. Then, you know, maybe rationing the supply is not just a good idea, it's a GREAT idea.
But no, there's a group of people out there, who want to suck all the joy out of having an Easter egg. Sadly, some of these individuals have access to money and food production equipment. It's not enough they are miserable, they want to share their misery with us, by creating some of the most awful alternatives to chocolate known to mankind.
This is the stuff of nightmares. Food that even my dog, Rascal, would turn his nose up at - and I've seen him eat some pretty disgusting stuff.
Doubt me? Well check these un-egg-citing creations out:
- A Cheester egg - A what? Yes, it's an egg, made entirely of cheese. Maybe something for cheese fans, but...no. Just. No.
- The Grow-your-own plant kit - Why eat a chocolate egg when you can plant green stuff in a fake shell. Apparently big in Japan - home of the wasabi flavoured kit-kat (shudder).
- Playdough eggs - Remember when you were kids and you made all kinds of fake edibles out of playdough and then pretended to eat them - unless you were under four, then you actually ate them? Well know you can buy an egg -shaped contained of playdough to give the munchkins instead of chocolate.
Please take a photo of their inevitable reaction. I'm sure it will be brilliant and I need a laugh while I'm enjoying my chocolate Easter eggs. Oh, also don't forget to enjoy removing playdough from the carpet, clothing and your kids ears.....