Opening your home and your heart to a child in need of hope

Have you ever thought about fostering, about opening your home and your heart to children in need?
If this thought has ever crossed your mind it is worth exploring it because foster carers of all types are being sought for this region, and not only could you be helping a child, or indeed many children in need, it is also “the most rewarding thing you can do.”

Sandra * and Mary * met with the Leitrim Observer during Fostering Fortnight to discuss their experiences of fostering, the challenges and the rewards.
Sandra and her husband opened their home to foster children when their own son was 9-years-old. She said they had always wanted more children but it never happened. They then saw an advert in the Leitrim Observer and thought they would give it ago.
That was 14 years ago and since then they have had numerous children in their care and about six or seven of them were with them long term. They currently have one teenager in long term care. Sandra said they have had all age groups from babies to 17-years-olds staying with them.
She explained that her son was very supportive of the experience and grew up alongside some of the children who he still sees as friends today. Sandra said it was a “good experience” for her son and allowed him to become a “more understanding person, more accepting.”
Sandra fostered a few teenagers and while she admitted some can be challenging, they can be so grateful for your help after a bit of time.
She said the most important thing for teenagers is feeling safe and so “you have to lay down the rules.” She said all children are seeking “family stability”, and she has found that once they feel safe, they can open up and relax.
Sandra accepted that while the idea of longer term fostering may seem “scary” there is a lot of support.
She explained there is a team of support, link workers, social carers, a care plan and there is always advice and help for every circumstance. She also noted that ongoing training can help you come up with solutions.
She added, “placement is two way” and both the carer and child must be happy with the situation. Sandra said she has found the overall experience very rewarding, especially when they move on in education or get a job and live independently. She is still in contact with most of her foster children.

Mary and her husband entered the world of fostering seven years ago and they are so grateful for the experience.
Mary and her husband didn't have any children and despite having no parenting experience decided to give fostering a chance. They took in twin boys long term and they have grown up just like they are their very own children.
She said they entered the system with “open minds” and a “blank canvas” and have been overjoyed with the journey. Both boys are now “standing on their own feet” and Mary is as proud as any parent could be.
She said the boys came from a different cultural background and Mary tried to honour their background while also rooting them in the culture here.
Mary said they often had to call on the social worker for advice and was happy with how sensitively they were dealt with. Mary encourages any couple who don't have any children to look into fostering.
She said it is worth filling out the application, being assessed and doing the training to see if it is suitable.
First time carers are often given some weekend respite or short term stays to start with and if at any point they don't feel comfortable they can alert their line worker and the situation can be resolved. Sandra said the training can be an “eye opener” and allows you to see if you would like it or not.

Tusla accept carers from all different walks of life once there is “space in your life” to care for a child and a “good support network around you”.
There is a fostering allowance but this is for the care of the child and should not be needed to pay bills.
So if you have the space for a child in your home and in your heart, why not give it a go?

*Sandra and *Mary are not their real names due to privacy reasons.

If you are interesting in finding out more information, speaking to a foster carer or discussing your own personal circumstances you can drop in for an informal chat to Cryan's Hotel, Carrick-on-Shannon Wednesday, March 15 at 10.15am or meet with the IFCA Advocacy Service at the Glass House Hotel, Sligo on Thursday March 16 from 10.30-12.30pm. You can call and request an application form at any time on 1800 226771.

You can keep up to date on all the activities taking place during Fostering Fortnight, on the website www.ifca.ie  and also on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Instagram.