So I'm hitting the road again....
If you are taking to the roads over the next few weeks, brace yourselves, I'll be hitting the roads myself - on two wheels this time. It promises to be a white knuckle experience for everyone. Sorry about that.
Yes, after two years of studiously not making eye contact with the bicycle stored in my garden shed, I am committed to dusting her off and figuring out why the wheels no longer spin and then, (gulp) hitting the road.
In the interests of everyone I shall not be donning anything remotely reminiscent of lycra - until I've cycled the equivalent of Mizen to Malin Head. This is primarily so I do not cause any psychological damage to other road users but also to, avoid any potential injury to myself, as a result of trying to remove tight cycling shorts.
In anticipation of this 'blessed' return, I'd just like to issue the following apologies in advance:
- Sorry for swearing - If you do chance to see me muttering to myself as I cycle along, please be aware that I am not twittering on about the view or the exhilaration of cycling away in lovely locales. No, I will be swearing and probably telling myself there is a reason why God saw fit to allow me to pass my driving test......so I could avoid cycling.
- I am sorry for waving at you - The only plus to being shortsighted is that when I see myself first thing in the morning, I don't realise how bad I look. The downsides are many and will inevitably mean that I will be waving at every car, truck and person I meet - and possibly a few fence posts or signs or, you know, anything that could be mistaken for a person. Only intervene if I am waving at you with both hands or, you know, waving while face-down in a ditch.
- Resist the urge to call an ambulance for me - I know that exercise brings out the best in some people. I am not one of them. I will look like I am on my last legs. I may even look like an intervention is needed. Ignore me, for all our sakes.
- Ignore me if you see me physically attacking my bike - I've probably reached breaking point if this happens. Just don't make eye-contact. Drive on and possibly contact my husband, if you know him, so that he can stock up on chocolate bars to throw at me when I finally crawl back through the front door.
Other than that, I'm sure everything will be fine....sort of.