In some of those awful telemovies they have on satellite TV, would-be sleuths root through the rubbish of various suspects to solve completely implausible crimes. Inevitably the sleuth/librarian finds the crucial missing clue that cracks the case wide open next to a an empty milk container in a rather clean looking bin.
No such luck for me and plenty of other volunteers last weekend. I can safely say after participating in my local Spring Clean, there is nothing pleasant about mucking through anyone's rubbish, especially when its dumped on a roadside in rural Leitrim.
Not even my excitement at finally getting to use those handy litter picker tools could overcome the reality that there are some really, dirty, dirty people out there. And I'm not referring to personal hygiene here.
I'm not sure what is more offensive, the random take-away coffee cups that seem to litter our roads or the fact that some idiot can't bear the idea of holding onto said coffee cup until they get home or, you know, to an actual bin.
Here's a little hint to those offenders, these cups don't decompose. They just hang out in our hedgerows and ditches - lots of them, like coffee cup fugitives. If I knew where you lived I'd bag your chucked take-out cups and throw them back in through your bedroom window some night.
Then there are the baffling things that people dump. Let's for a moment consider the humble TV. It costs nothing to recycle these at approved locations, so why not drive it there and get rid of it properly? Are people just lazy or are they clinically stupid?
Then there are the mental overachievers who make it all the way to their local bring bank with their recycling only to dump this rubbish outside of the bins.
I have serious concerns about the ability of these individuals to feed themselves or, you know, figure out how to open doors, if they can't work a rubbish bin.
But all that aside, I would like to pay tribute to everyone who turned out around the county to clean up this April.
It was a smelly undertaking and involved more than a little roadside gymnastics attempting to pull bags from gripes and trees.
But seriously, if you know where the coffee cup dumpers are hanging out, let me know.........I have a full bag of cups I'd just love to deliver back to their rightful owners.