Sometime's you just can't win

What you don't know won't sicken you

Leonie McKiernan

Reporter:

Leonie McKiernan

What you don't know won't sicken you

Sometimes not knowing what you've just eaten is better for your health as our columnist, Leonie McKiernan found out recently.

I would like to categorically state, right now, that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, worse than realising you have just consumed something so far past its useby date, it could be classed as an ancient artefact.


While most foods out there will give you a small hint it's passed its best i.e. a woeful smell, excessive mould growth, the fact it's moving across the shelf of the fridge by itself,  there are a whole raft of consumables that, well, lull you into thinking they are fine. 


Like the innocuous looking herbal teabag I used this week that expired..... in June 2015. Tea actually expires? Why did nobody tell me? 


Berries and Nettle probably isn't a combination to everyone's taste but put it nearly four years out of date and you have a cup of something which could possibly be used to exterminate Japanese Knotweed or, you know, remove permanent marker from walls. And yes, I drank a whole mug of it before I realised it was, well, a bit off. 


In my defence I have a bad cold. I can't detect much beyond the smell of Vicks Vaporub and possibly .... no, actually it's just the Vicks, nothing but the Vicks.


So it call came as a bit of a shock to read the packet - while waiting for the kettle to boil for my second mug of Russian Roulette no less -  to discover I may have actually poisoned myself. At work of all places. On a Monday as well. Oh the indignity of it all. 


Now I feel like I may be well, sicker than I already am. Or maybe it's just the head cold. Google is no help at all -so much for the 'all-knowing internet'. Although, during my research, I did discover I possibly have symptoms relating to scurvy, or was that distemper? Come to think of it, I spent rather a lot of time wading through various doctor on-line diagnosis sites. Now, hours later, I'm starting to believe I'm on the way out.


It's true what they say, "what you don't know won't sicken you" but what happens when you know? What then?
Clearly knowledge can clearly be a very dangerous thing - especially when you're already not firing on all cylinders.
Does anyone have a bottle of Andrews?